"Funny / Punny business names for the Old West?" Topic

I'm looking for some funny (or punny) names to put on the signs of my Western town. Things like:

Wee Feecum & Howe – Attorneys at Law

Wicke & Sons – Candlemakers

Little, Johns, & Thomas – Tailors
Slogan: "Our hems never come up short"

Plantum – Deep
Undertakers

Stagger & Holmes
Distillery

Silly stuff like that. Got any favorites?

Not quite what you after but amazing/astonishing none the less.

link

AB: Those are funny! There is actually a store in Houston named "Hung Dong." It's an Asian market. My wife drives by the place every day, but fortunately she's never dropped by to see if they have anything she wants to eat for dinner.

I've always been fond of "W.E. Shippet & Storett" myself for um…. shipping and storage.

A. Majors – General Store
Sleepy Hollow – Bed & Breakfast

If you can't find any in the Click and Clack credits, you're not trying!

link

Their law firm, Dewey, Cheatham and Howe, is well known to any Johnny Carson fans.

Rick

There's a bike store in Moab (in the west, just not the old west) run by the two Miller (?) brothers. They sign their business cards "Rob M. and Bill M."

There's always the classic clergy services offered include "Hatch, Match, and Dispatch."

Buck Bored – Wagonmakers

Horace Shoe – Blacksmith

Patton & Grant – General Stores (think about it)

Cock & Load – Gunsmiths

Will Cheatham – Attourney at Law

S. Avitt & P. Rosper – County bank

Some of the names that I am using come from things that have happened in games in the club or places we have been as a gaming group. For example, one of our guys (named Hall) was losing a game badly when he commented "Today it sucks to be me." It stuck. Now I have an undertakers shop called Hall's Hallowed Ground. Underneath its says "Today it sucks to be you". Also next store to the hotel where they hold the Seven Years Wars Association convention is a fantastic Irish Pub called Fiddler's Hearth. I took their logo off the net and made a sign. But by the door there is a posting that says "welcome SYWA members". Little stuff like that is fun and personal.

The stuff you guys mentioned is fun but a bit old.

I have gangs that play off modern stuff like the C.O.W.S which is a women's gang and it stands for CONSERVATIVES OPPOSING WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE and the N.A.G.S which is NARCISSISTIC ASSOCIATION for GENDER SUPERIORITY of course there are the M.U.L.E.S who are the MALE UNION for LEGALLY ENDENTURED SPOUSES (yes i know it should be an I). I also have the Kimbell Gang which is made up of 5 one armed men. All of their wives died under mysterious circumstances but each claim that that a two armed man did it!

Try that approach.

sky

there is a shop in the middlands called "Sofa King" whose slogan is "Our prices are Sofa king Low"

Always make me laugh

Regards

Jez

skyking20: I mainly run convention games, so "personal stuff" isn't really an option. And yes, these are old chestnuts, but when it comes to puns, those are the best. Besides, every "old joke" is new to a kid of just 10-14!

I do like the thought of using acronyms, though…

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Just remembered:
Madame Ore's House

There is a chinese place I saw called "F.U. Lay" (I might have spelled the last word wrong, but that is how it sounds)

For later years, perhaps pulp, Bloomington Il. is the home of Diesel Dicks truck repair.

I made a Chinese laundry with a booze joint out back.

The boozer joint was called 'Kwai Gong Gin'.

Forgot the laundry, it was a pretty straight name.

My scenery collection includes a Chinese takeaway called "The Unlucky Duck" in memory of the sudden drop in the local duck population in my home town when the chinese takeaway opened.

Robert

Harry Pitts – Feed and Seed store
Major Impact Ammo (MIA)
I. Yankem – Dentist and Vet

> I. Yankem – Dentist and Vet

We have a local Dr. that does Vasectomies by the name of Dr. Sloteroff, which is pronounced "Slaughter off", probably not useable for an old west setting though…

There's a Mr. Nolette here who is a realtor specializing in leases. Or was--I haven't seen his advertising in a while: Maybe he lived up to his name.
Grelber

Legel, Eagel & Briefcase – a real legal firm in Australia

Not a business, but I knew a guy once called Dick Lively, real name too – it was not "Richard Lively". Don't know what the heck his parents were thinking.

There used to be a free paper model available for the " Creek Paddle Store". I built one for my Old West town, but can't find the link for it any longer.

My favorite is a now defunct Thai Restaurant in Tujunga California that I used to live near: "The Poo-Ping Palace" perhaps its name had something to do with its demise.

"There used to be a free paper model available for the " Creek Paddle Store". I built one for my Old West town, but can't find the link for it any longer."

"Uppa" Might not get bleeped…

Terrement,
Thanks for the Props….
I actually have about 6 notebook pages of future buildings/businesses for the town of Beaverlick, Wyoming. I plan on returning to that madness after the "Fist Full of Seamen" Pirate project is completed this Spring.

Wingnut

The undertaker in my town is John Hill, nickname "Boot".

Bradon Irons, Blacksmith
Hollis Tuff Shipping Interest
D. K. Poole*, Dentist
Wealand Tong, Wainwright
Aden Feather, Fletcher
Sir Ossis, Distiller of Fine Whiskeys
Chuck & Round Butchers
Count Acres Surveying & Claims
Lance Key Telegraphy
Rolland Rock Stagecoaches
Justin Thyme Post Riders
Dewey Bleedham, Barber/Surgeon
Noah Peele, Justice of the Peace
Skinner & Filler Taxidermy
Lawson Holliday, Sheriff

* – actual dentist from my hometown

>>I plan on returning to that madness after the "Fist Full of Seamen" Pirate project is completed this Spring.<<

Way to show people that wargamers aren't a bunch of fat weirdos. Yuch!!

"Way to show people that wargamers aren't a bunch of fat weirdos. Yuch!!"

This crowd dropped the ball on that long before I arrived on the scene. Most conventions I've been to think a "Stairmaster" is the second guy to blink in a contest.

This crowd dropped the ball on that long before I arrived on the scene. Most conventions I've been to think a "Stairmaster" is the second guy to blink in a contest.

Tee hee.

The woman who signed my draft card was named Hazel Slaughter. Seemed appropriate. Perhaps an arborist, and not very good at it?

Shy Anne's